Not cured, just #better

For the first time in my 40 years of life (yes, I am 40 now), I am not worried. I am not stressed. I am okay. Am I cured? Do I no longer have PTSD or Anxiety disorder? No. But I have found a way to be better:

I sleep better

I eat better

I play better

I think better

I feel better

I workout better

I look better (not gonna lie)

And, get this, it was easy! Yeah, I know. I probably lost 75% of you right there. The other 25% still reading are probably related to me. 

Nothing that is worth it is easy, right? Wrong! This is easy. It is native. It is how we came into this world.

It is Ketosis. 

Fancy word, huh? Heard of it? Heard that it's hard? Excruciating even? Yeah, I know, you could never give up so much. Why live life feeling deprived? Besides, can how you eat really change you all that much? It's just food...

Yes. Yes, it can, and I can Prüvit. I do not feel deprived. I do not feel like I am missing out. I can eat what I want because I now only want what I can eat! My tastes have changed. My cravings have changed. My habits have changed. And guess how long this transformation took. A year? 6 months? 30 days? Nope 👎🏽 

FIVE DAYS

Yes, you read that right. I changed my life in all of the above ways in 5 days, less than a week. Don't believe me? Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram. It's documented there. I Prüvit. Every. Single. Day. So do my kids. Yup, that's right, this is so safe my kids do it! 

So how did I do it? I started with a 5-day experience. Intrigued? Wanna learn more? Even if you're only goal is to prove me wrong, just watch this video. Then you can even do some research if ya like. There are medical studies on Ketosis and the benefits of Ketones all over. Or you could just try it? 5 days. That's it. Give it 5 days and see how you are #better!

Click here for the video

But I don't wanna!!!!!!

My nursing journey is coming to an end :( 4 kids and over 9 years.... I'm sad. My husband doesn't quite understand but is extremely supportive. My heart is breaking. I know this is the beginning of a new chapter, not just the end of one. I know that my identity is not solely defined by growing a child in my belly or nurturing one at my bosom (yes, I said bosom, you may giggle). But I have either been trying to get pregnant, pregnant or nursing for over 10 years now. How do I not let that define me? How do I not feel like a part of me is dying? How do I completely let go of my dream of 6 children, at least one more girl? How do I start this new chapter when I don't feel ready to close the last one?

I can hear the answers in my head, perhaps what others would say or maybe just my paranoia and tendency towards personal harsh judgement: "Six kids? Are you nuts???" "Can't you be happy with what you have?" "Aren't you overwhelmed and frazzled already?" I have answers: yes, yes, and yes....but... I cannot explain it except to say that the heart wants what the heart wants. I have prayed and continue to pray for His guidance and to let it be His will not mine. But...

I need to lose the but. Not the butt, that is another post entirely. I need to move on, for my sake and my family's. I need to embrace this new chapter, this new beginning. I have so much to look forward to. My children are becoming more independent each day. I am only a year or so away from no more diapers. J1 and I have more time together with 3 kids in school a full day 2 days a week. I can go full force at the gym without worrying about the effects on a possible fetus or nursing baby completely dependent on me for sustenance. We are able to do more in general as naps are getting shorter and not as many supplies are necessary for an outing. One day soon I won't even have to buckle anyone in (assuming J6 figures it out at 2 like J3 did). And we are about 2 years away from a no-stroller existence. We are even heading towards a time when all 4 kids will actually be in school.

All these positives to look forward to but I seem to be multiplying them all by -1 (yes, I'm a nerd). I'm open to any and all suggestions on how to remove that multiplier, how to accept my life as it is now, how to "move on." Anyone?... Anyone?... Bueller???