Not cured, just #better

For the first time in my 40 years of life (yes, I am 40 now), I am not worried. I am not stressed. I am okay. Am I cured? Do I no longer have PTSD or Anxiety disorder? No. But I have found a way to be better:

I sleep better

I eat better

I play better

I think better

I feel better

I workout better

I look better (not gonna lie)

And, get this, it was easy! Yeah, I know. I probably lost 75% of you right there. The other 25% still reading are probably related to me. 

Nothing that is worth it is easy, right? Wrong! This is easy. It is native. It is how we came into this world.

It is Ketosis. 

Fancy word, huh? Heard of it? Heard that it's hard? Excruciating even? Yeah, I know, you could never give up so much. Why live life feeling deprived? Besides, can how you eat really change you all that much? It's just food...

Yes. Yes, it can, and I can Prüvit. I do not feel deprived. I do not feel like I am missing out. I can eat what I want because I now only want what I can eat! My tastes have changed. My cravings have changed. My habits have changed. And guess how long this transformation took. A year? 6 months? 30 days? Nope 👎🏽 

FIVE DAYS

Yes, you read that right. I changed my life in all of the above ways in 5 days, less than a week. Don't believe me? Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram. It's documented there. I Prüvit. Every. Single. Day. So do my kids. Yup, that's right, this is so safe my kids do it! 

So how did I do it? I started with a 5-day experience. Intrigued? Wanna learn more? Even if you're only goal is to prove me wrong, just watch this video. Then you can even do some research if ya like. There are medical studies on Ketosis and the benefits of Ketones all over. Or you could just try it? 5 days. That's it. Give it 5 days and see how you are #better!

Click here for the video

Just when I thought I was safe...

I received a letter in the mail last week saying that I was eligible for a PDBR. The military loves its acronyms. What that means is they will review my medical discharge from 9 1/2 years ago and make sure it was fair. And if they find it unfair they increase my rating and possibly medically retire me retroactively. This means more money monthly, backpay, and free healthcare for my husband and all the kids! Sounds good, huh? I thought so! I sat down last night and did all the research and filled out all the paperwork. 

This morning, I decided I only have one shot at this so I’d better give it all I got: I decided to write a personal statement to go with my application. Seemed like a good idea at the time. So when I got home from the gym I sat down and started writing...

It was words on a screen, but the affect was that of a time machine. All of a sudden I was back in Seattle, then SanDiego, then Damneck, then Norfolk and I was feeling everything again: the panic, the anxiety, the depression. Emotions compounded by the hormones of pregnancy...

It sickens me that I’m still this affected. I go through so many days convincing myself that I’m over it, that I’m strong and it’s all in the past. Then something happens and I realize it’s all a giant crock of...well, you know. I have PTSD and that doesn’t go away...EVER!!!

Yes, I have learned to cope. Most days I’m even quite happy. The attacks being spaced out, though, is both a blessing and a curse. It has lulled me into a false sense of security, so much so that the onset of one, again coupled with pregnancy hormones, literally floors me. I’m reduced to a crumpled and crying mess on the floor of the shower. Not a good place to be when Jason has to leave for work in 15 minutes and I have 2 of my 3 kids to take care of and grocery shopping to do and a paper to write for my next class.

So what do I do when I finally recover from this attack? How do I go on with my life and be happy without falling back into the false sense of security? What is the answer to living with PTSD without allowing it to ruin everything?

I have no answers. I have no clue where to go from here. All I can do is count my blessings and praise God for my family, especially my amazing and supportive husband. Oh, and keep unraveling....